what the french do actually know...

well maybe not the french, but definitely hugo. finally saw Les Mis the other night, and no i've never read the ridiculously long book. in fact, something about the title or the topic always turned me off, so i avoided the whole thing for years. but i finally caved in and watched the cinema portrayal of the classic...only to find that it is worthy of the label "classic". basically, it's the first movie to convince me of one specific thing: that sacrificing for someone can truly change their life. funny that it took a movie to teach me that that's no fairy tale. but the transformation of each character is so believable, and it all really stems from (and therefore can be traced back to) 1 or 2 characters that chose forgiveness over revenge when they had the opportunity and the "right" to the latter. it's pretty inspiring, and honestly, there's nothing religious about it. it's just the idea of sacrifice, that's all. it forces you to ask the question, "why do i think of serving myself so often?" and "isn't it obviously better to help someone else?" it utterly destroys the pretense within you that says that "I matter most in every circumstance". so yeah, i liked it. oh, almost forgot. claire danes is so hot in it. i would marry her. we'd have fun i think.

in other news, christmas was cool. presents, egg nog, and my whole family hanging out for 3 days without a fight. from that, and that alone, i conclude that God is good. if i don't write again before it, happy new year everyone.

maybe if i found a good cave?

despite my best efforts, i think i must conclude that i will never make a good hermit. that's a bummer at this point in time, because i really would like to be a hermit. i just can't find any great reason to be around people these days. it's not that i dont' appreciate some quality social interaction from time to time...it's more a sense that most of my relational investments are panning out as a waste. and this is going to sound smug and selfish, but the problem is that 9 out of 10 people i meet are completely UN-interesting. they may be nice, and that's great. they may be generous and compassionate, and that's even better. they may even have an above-average sense of humor....but i want to be around people who interest me, in deep (or at least sub-surface) ways. thankfully, i do have a handful of close friends that are that for me, and man it's always great to be around them. it feels like that draw out the very best in me. but my God, how many of my "friends" could really handle the sad truth of it all...that i'm just not excited to be a part of their life. [don't worry...if you're reading this, YOU certainly could never be in that latter group. YOU are definitely one of the truly interesting people in my life, trust me] so there you have it...the result is the desire to become a cave-dweller. of course most caves don't have internet access or good lighting to read all my books with. so yeah, i gotta chuck the hermit idea too. all because civilization doesn't extend to the places i'd retreat to....no no, it has nothing to do with ultimately caring for people, or needing to engage in fellowship. it's not that at all. it's not like we humans were built for community. glad i'm not the least bit convinced by that nonsense.

[in case you couldn't tell, this is my big "me-against-the-world" moment right here. i'd say i'm battling quite well, wouldn't you? my adversary, the world, doesn't know the powerful tactics i can utilize at any time. ha, stupid world, do you not know that i can stop breathing the air if i feel like it? yeah, now who's got the upper hand? huh? huh? yeah, that's right.]