me and my opinions

i'm realizing that i'm an extremely opinionated person. ok, i actually knew that a long time ago. but i'm finding out that that doesn't have to be the case, at least not on everything. i'm starting to entertain the idea that i'm not required to have an informed and strong opinion on everything (contrary to the mentality that was firmly rooted in me as a kid). maybe it's really ok to let an issue fly by without developing and establishing a stance on that issue. wow...i can't tell you all how radical a concept this is to a guy like me. these are uncharted waters! maybe i can now feel free to not give a damn about certain things, or even let people make uninformed and idiotic statements without feeling obligated to clear things up for "all those that want the truth". i don't know why i've always been a perfectionist (often an anal one ) about this. i know my rationale has always been "it would be tragic for so-and-so to leave this interaction withouth knowing all the facts that i know" or "...without hearing my incredibly poignant insight into the situation". as arrogant and assholish as that truly is, believe me when i say that i really thought that was the right thing to do. i honestly didn't want to have the last word for the sake of having the last word...i sincerely thought that my thoughts were more profound and thus the obvious way to conclude the conversation properly. looking back, i'm not sure which is worse. is it better to be childish and petty, or pompous and self-absorbed? HA....i don't have to answer that...there doesn't even need to be an answer to that! i just need to avoid all of those things and pursue a little conversational humility.

to anyone who reads this - please help me out in this endeavor. i won't be great at this for a while, maybe a long while. but i'm gonna work on it. i honestly think i'll enjoy the freedom that it ultimately gives. but yeah, bear with me, remind me gently...when i'm being "that guy" that absolutely ruins a good discussion. please do not let me get away with it! it's not a good thing for any of us. and if you notice me improving in this area at all...find the closest cookie and give it to me. an oatmeal one, if possible.

God, please oh please, bless America

just finished watching the last presidential debate. it didn't help my decision-making process one bit. i'm really forced to forfeit my vote at this point because i have zero respect for either candidate. maybe i'll write in someone like albert pujols. i hear he's an even better person that he is a ball player. or maybe i'll just rearrange my life so i'll be on track to be a sucessful business man, then a puppeted politician, and then a presidential candidate in the 2030's (right before bobby mcallister is supposed to take office). i know i'd lose by a landslide, but at least i could demonstrate a new way of campaigning, a new way of lobbying, a new way a leading. maybe this is all BS...

...but maybe it's not. i just can't stand the obviously selfish agendas that drive politics today. and everyone tells me that it's always been that way and it will always be that way, and that it's naive to have any optimism beyond that. i say "WHY?" why does it have to be that way? if life has any meaning whatsoever, and if there's any such thing as goodness, then why can't i dream of a time when a leader teaches their nation to care about someone else besides themself? both bush and kerry quoted the same Bible passage this evening - about loving your neighbor as yourself. wow, what a concept!

but how does one claim that goal for their would-be presidency in one breath, and then use blatant fear tactics in the next, suggesting that my personal avoidance of suffering should be priority #1, and that i should vote for the candidate (or party) that best addresses that priority? how do they stress integrity in one breath, and then sling endless mud in the other, with a vehemence that suggests that the opposition must be shown to be heartless, incompetent, or downright diabolical for us to ensure our own victory? that's not integrity. that's underhandedness, and deceit? why do they rightly address the needs of america's lowerclass (our national neighbors) and then wrongly ignore the majority of our global neighbors, as if people born on american soil should have ensured opportunities and special treatment, and foreigners should simply envy america and aspire to one day (legally) immigrat here? and last but not nearly least, why won't anyone look into a major network camera and declare that it's NOT OK for this nation to consume everything or to justify the subsequent oppression of whole continents by saying that we need to "fuel our economy" or "let capitalism play out to its ends"? THAT is BS for sure! why don't i have the option like this on the ballot? why must i pick between panderers and snow-jobbers, who patronize in different ways with different labels, but who are all convinced that the best way to get a vote is to rationalize, excuse, and ulitimately feed my fetish for consumption, and my self-guarded insolation, and my refusal to sacrifice "what i deserve as an american", even if it meant the betterment of the world as a whole?

just once, i'd like to see someone close their campaign convention by saying "my fellow Americans...our nation is not the center of the universe, and none of you are individually the center of the universe. and thank God that is the case...for there is hope for the world if a powerful nation like america could seek the respect of other countries rathan than jealousy, and if it could seek to bless others rathan than seeking to be blessed". i don't think this is just the jesus-freak in me coming out. it just strikes me as the very thing that would make a good nation GOOD. does this seem like common sense to anyone else? i gotta get to bed. honestly, i don't care who you vote for on Nov. 2, just make sure you keep a look-out for me, a couple decades down the road (hey, if arnold can get elected, i'm convinced that ANYTHING is possible). haha. goodnight all.